His body slightly hunched forward, I reached out to place my hand on his back - both to assuage him of his nervousness and to prepare myself to give him a light rap on his non-muster arm. Hand still on him, I could feel a persistent reverberation through his vest, possibly the disquieting shivers brought about by the realisation of the fulminant object he grasped in his hand.
"Hey. Ya okay?" I asked loudly.
A momentary pause followed. He stood frozen, not budging the least, seemingly lost in a repertoire of his own thoughts.
"State anxiety" I thought, running through whatever smattering of knowledge I remembered from a Times article I read a couple of weeks back. Defined to be a temporal emotional reaction varying in intensity with subjective experience of threat during the situation. The reaction is characterized by worry, nervousness and tension and an increase in arousal due to the activation of the autonomic nervous system. Temporarily I wondered how terrible it would be to end up in a state of permanent distress.
"Hey. HEY. Ya okay here?" I echoed my previous question, ruffling his shoulders to get his attention. Then, my focused eyes registered a brief nod of his head, coupled by a feeble "Ye...Yess, sirrr sir".
I stepped back to ascertain that he had maintained the appropriate posture, and got him to prepare himself. A bead of sweat formed up on his forehead and trickled down to his violently quivering hands. I noticed his cracked dry lips that I knew had nothing whatsoever to do with the recalescent midday sun beating down relentlessly upon us. The fact that his eyes were darting wildly around him were not lost upon me either.
"Don't worry, I'm here with you. Just focus on what you gotta do yeah?" I attempted to assuage him of the anxiety that I'm sure was eating him up from the inside.
"I...I'll tr tr tryy my best sir" came his weak reply.
I tapped his arm.
And he swung his arm backward in a graceful arc.
For a moment, it crossed my mind that his fingers would, without warning, release it's grip and cause a paroxysm, and the explosive force would propel shrapnel and ball bearings outward like, possibly a scene out of prime-time television. Immediately, my instincts kicked in, and I crouched, mentally rehearsing the the drill I would execute should such a scenario occur. Those few seconds felt like several agonising hours, as I waited in anticipation for the object to leave the bay. I stole a quick glance, and saw it hurtling higher and further away. A mild streak of relief settled.
"Th...Tha..Than...ank you sir" he stuttered when the worst was over.
I grunted, and nodded my head in acknowledgement.
P.S. None of this was made up eh. It really happened hor.